You really don’t know where life is going to take you. You might never actually physically move, but that doesn’t mean that life doesn’t move all around you. Life is always unpredictable. I never predicted that my hubby would end up fighting for his life in the ICU with a wonky heart that nobody knew would ever work properly again. Less than a year ago, that is exactly what happened to us. I had to start making plans for a life without him. The changes that I made ended up not being really necessary since he pulled a miracle out of his butt and made a substantial recovery. But, those changes have ensured that both of us will live a lot longer right here in the home that we’ve spent 35 years establishing.

The first change I made was to start looking for someone to come share my home simply because I knew that I couldn’t live in this big house way out in the country all by myself. At the time, it was a crapshoot if hubby was going to survive. I was incredibly lucky in that. There really are a lot of single senior ladies out there looking for a safe, affordable place to settle for the remainder of their lives. AARP and other organizations have put out info on connecting to those who are looking for shared living situations all over the country. Another aspect to the need for these services is that there is a huge swath of the population that is going to have difficulties once they are alone, living on Social Security and Medicare with little else to back them up. Maybe they have a house to sell that they can no longer afford or have no family to fall back on, but are otherwise perfectly able to and prefer to live independently. Many are single for any number of reasons, living in rented residences, working low-paying jobs. Whatever the reason, they find themselves looking at bleak futures once they reach retirement.

Well, long story made short… Hubby miraculously survived. Diminished, but determined to enjoy life on his own terms and established himself in an ADU in the back of the house because the house just isn’t equipped for his disabilities and he feels more independent with his home healthcare team to help him. The thought of living the rest of his life in assisted living was just unimaginable for him. I now have two housemates who have helped me tremendously by taking a lot of weight off of me. It doesn’t hurt that they make me laugh every day. We’ve done a lot of necessary home maintenance, added a nice big back porch and a patio where we spend a lot of time enjoying the fact that the house is out in the country with lots of nature around us.

The reason I’m sharing this story with you is that the changes I made in my living situation were incredibly scary at the time that I was forced into making them. One of the ladies that live with me now was an acquintance, a former nurse, who helped me deal with all the decisions I was having to make about hubby’s care in the hospital. She basically gave me a virtual smack upside the head and told me to not be afraid to do what needed to be done or else I was going to find that the rest of my life would be according to the decisions of others instead of my own.

I feel empowered by the strength I found within myself and am now looking to the future. Did I have to change a lot of things about my daily lifestyle? Yes. We don’t know how long hubby’s wonky heart is going to keep him going, but at least now I’m not in a panic over the thought of “What am I going to do?” I know what I’m going to do and how I’m going to do it. And the way I see it is “If I can do it, anybody can.” Changing the dynamic of my life has given me peace.